Sydney Intervention

I went down to Town Hall yesterday to take a free walking tour, stopping to pick up an overpriced latte on the way. While walking to the meeting point, I saw this statue of Queen Victoria. Her raw sensuality just drew me in and I wanted to get a photo, but I needed both hands, so I set the coffee down at the base of the statue.

Vicky, you saucy little minx
Vicky, you saucy little minx

It took me a few minutes to get the composition and exposure right, but I got what I wanted and was walking back to retrieve my coffee when I saw this little hipster doofus with a yin/yang symbol on the back of his T-shirt walk up, grab my cup, throw the lid on the ground (!) and start drinking what was left of my over-priced latte! What the hell is wrong with you, Sydney?!? First the guy swigging from the abandoned bottle of beer on the street last week, now this? Come on – you are the third most expensive city in the world. It’s not like you’re living in “Mad Max” times here (yeah, I admit it, I stole that line, but it really is the perfect quote for this situation).

The walking tour? It was good. The guide, Russ, was funny, loud enough to be heard over the traffic noise and he made herding 30+ people around the city for 3 hours look easy. He also pointed out this cool little bit of trivia – remember this scene from “The Matrix” with the Woman in Red? Woman in Red
It was shot at a fountain downtown, featured at the top of this post. I was really hoping for a woman in red to stroll into my shot but no such luck. The closest I could get was “Fat Tourist in Red”. Not the same. Not the same at all. But this illustrates exactly why I like walking tours. A good guide will tell you things you wouldn’t have a clue about otherwise, no matter how much prep work you have done.

But all of that is beside the point. Sydney, what you are doing is hurting yourself and hurting others. Specifically, me. You need to stop touching what isn’t yours and, for God’s sake, you need to stop putting it in your mouth. I think it’s time you faced it – you have a drinking problem. A particularly gross one. Admitting it is the first step toward recovery. Seek help.

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