Close Call

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!
– Patches O’Houlihan
powerpole-medScene of what could have easily been a very bad day for me. Craving a tuna sandwich and a strawberry-banana smoothie, I was walking down this street when, two feet from the base of that power pole, a foot long crescent wrench hit the ground directly in front of me. One more second and I would have been exactly there. No caution tape. No one to warn me away. “Holy shit that was close!” were pretty much my exact words. Then I looked up to see a worker on the pole, whereupon I said it once more, just in case he didn’t hear me the first time. He just kinda smiled nervously down at me while I glared back at him across our language divide. There really wasn’t anything else I could do. Well, I suppose I could have tossed his wrench back up to him, but, uhhh, no, that ain’t happening. Those other guys in the photo only emerged from the shade and took up positions at the base of the pole once it had stopped raining wrenches. Grrrrr.

So I walked the last 100 feet or so to the restaurant, took a seat and signaled the waitress. I started to order when she interrupted me, smiled apologetically and pointed to the dark kitchen. The power was out. Of course it was. In fact, I knew the guy who turned it off. He had just tried to kill me. Sigh. Obviously, my sandwich and smoothie were not happening. The universe had made itself abundantly clear on this point. But hey, my skull was still intact. I’m calling it a win.

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